Why Foundations Matter
Every relationship is set on the standard of spoken and unspoken agreements. To respect, to honour, to not lie, to live happily ever after and so on. However, many do not realize that for these to occur, one must already have a foundation in place. Pillars to hold up beliefs and values we live by. Four fundamental pillars need to be anchored in your relationship for it successfully work: (1) communication, (2) trust, (3) friendships, and (4) sex.
1. Communication in Relationships
The power of communication is amazing. However, it never ceases to amaze me when I find a couple that simply cannot seem to tell each what the issues are. Communication starts with using the right language in the form of words to effectively connect with your partner on issues and not intentionally hurt and further harm one another. Without communication in a relationship, it causes confusion, and once confusion sets in, the ability for relationships to break down easily occurs.
True communication can only occur when one trusts their partner. However, if you have no friendship developed in that relationship, you have no trust, which leads to a communication breakdown. If your partner can’t trust you, then why should they confide in you?
2. Trust in Relationships
An old saying exists which says, “Trust is earned, not given.” Trust grows when you develop a friendship with your partner and realize that they keep your secrets and guard your heart. Guarding your partner’s heart involves doing right by them, committing to them, and showing them that you are their trusted confidante, their “number one” in all situations, whether good or bad. However, remember the old saying also says, “it takes years to build trust, but only one moment to break it.” All relationships require a level of commitment, which involves work. But without trust, your partner will never believe you are committed to making the relationship work.
3. Friendship in Relationships
Friendship is the basis of all well-developed romantic relationships. Without friendship, you lack the foundation on which to build your relationship. Remember, no one falls in love. They grow into loving a person based on the way the friendship develops. A healthy relationship will build friendship, which will help them work on key factors that will bind them together.
4. Sex in Relationships
Sex is a huge component of any romantic relationship. Sex works as an emotional glue within the couple. When having sex with your partner, you must consider and understand the intention as to why you are performing the act. If your intention for sex with your partner is simply for self-gratification, then that’s all you’ll get.
If your intention is to meet your partner at a deeper emotional level you can both be present at, then this will elevate your ability to communicate, further develop trust, and improve your friendship. Sex helps to create an alignment within the couple that causes an emotional oneness within each other. It is much easier to work with your partner when likeability for each other is on a high scale, which sex can help to elevate.
It Takes Constant Work
No one pillar in a house is the most important. Each serves an interrelated function that maintains the stability and, ultimately, the structure’s integrity. Your relationship is the same. Have you considered where the structural integrity of your relationship is? The first step is making it a priority and talking about it.
Is your relationship built on a solid foundation? Let’s work together to strengthen your pillars of communication, trust, friendship, and intimacy. Book a FREE Couples Therapy 15-Min Discovery Call.